| 00:17 | Hi. I'm John Morrison. |
| 00:27 | And the diamonds on my abs right now are worth enough money to deport each and every illegal alien from this city. |
| 00:39 | And I'm the Real Deal Sex Appeal, the Soldier Of Seduction, the Demon Of Desire, your Chick Magnet, The Miz! |
| 00:55 | This Monday, John Morrison and The Miz, the greatest tag team of the 21st century, |
| 01:06 | will face the greatest tag team of the 20th century, D-Generation X. |
| 01:16 | But tonight, the Dirt Sheet will break from tradition and take a fair and balanced look at this historic tag team. |
| 01:25 | D-X was formed in 1997. John, what were you doing in 1997? |
| 01:33 | 97? I was in high school. I just finished writing my first screenplay. |
| 01:38 | I was also in high school. Normandy High. |
| 01:43 | But since then we graduated high school, gone to college, created the number one talk show on the internet, the Dirt Sheet, |
| 01:51 | and became the greatest tag team of all time. |
| 01:58 | Meanwhile, between the two of them, Shawn Michaels and Triple H have won 16 world championships. |
| 02:09 | They've also found the loves of their lives, got married and started families. |
| 02:16 | Well, that's adorable. |
| 02:17 | Isn't it? |
| 02:17 | That's just adorable. But I think we have to ask ourselves, how well do we really know this Shawn Michaels? |
| 02:25 | What do we really know about Triple H? |
| 02:28 | So, in the spirit of the political season, and in an effort to obtain full disclosure, we ask you to take a look at this. |
| 02:42 | Shawn Michaels says he thinks he's cute. |
| 02:45 | He knows he's sexy. Is it that fierce mullet that makes him cute? |
| 02:52 | Or maybe it's the way he dances in those manly chaps. |
| 02:57 | At the palace of wisdom they don't send a boy to do a man's job. |
| 03:03 | They send a shaman, The Shaman of Sexy, John Morrison. |
| 03:11 | Meanwhile Triple H likes to call himself the King of Kings. |
| 03:19 | But what's Triple H really saying when he uses such a big sledgehammer. |
| 03:26 | It is to compensate for deficiencies? |
| 03:34 | Triple H may call himself the Game, but no one has more game than The Miz. And that's why he's your Chick Magnet.- |
| 03:46 | I'm John Morrison, |
| 03:47 | And I'm The Miz, |
| 03:48 | And we approve this message. |
| 03:55 | Thank you, thank you. |
| 03:57 | Yeah, they just got obama'd. |
| 04:00 | I think right now D-X is feeling the McPain. |
| 04:03 | Dude, they might be a little mad at that. |
| 04:05 | Oh, you think? |
| 04:06 | You think we crossed the line? |
| 04:07 | Uh, I don't know. Whoops, but I guess there is only one way to find out. So, |
| 04:12 | Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages, |
| 04:15 | please welcome our special guests at this time, D-Generation X! |
| 05:31 | Gentlemen, Gentlemen, thank you for interrupting your busy schedules and join us tonight. |
| 05:36 | Wow, those are high pants, Shawn. Ha ha ha. |
| 05:41 | Now before we start this, do you guys have any childish humour or catchphrases you really want to get off your chest? |
| 05:51 | Actually-ah, it's more of a question-ah, are you ready? I SAID… |
| 06:02 | Actually, we don't care what you said. |
| 06:06 | Because the Dirt Sheet isn't about lame attempts in humour, we don't do fart jokes or tired catchphrases. |
| 06:15 | We are the Elite of the Elite from Hollywood. |
| 06:21 | We are A-Listers. We don't try to appeal to the lowest common denominator. We ride up to our fans. |
| 06:30 | And if you mainly sheep out there, and all over the world, |
| 06:36 | don't get our brand of entertainment, that's your problem, not ours! |
| 06:42 | In the one year since John Morrison and The Miz have been tagging, we have surpassed almost all of the accomplishments that D-X has in eleven years! |
| 06:57 | And the ones we haven't, just give us time. |
| 07:03 | We are better than D-X was then, |
| 07:08 | we are better than D-X is now, and this Monday night, |
| 07:15 | on the 800th episode of RAW, The Miz and John Morrison will prove it! |
| 07:24 | Oh yeah? Well I got two words for ya… |
| 07:30 | No, I got five. |
| 07:56 | Shawn Michaels, Triple H, |
| 08:00 | in life there are winners and there are losers. |
| 08:05 | And this Monday night at RAW, we are gonna have two words for you… |
| 08:10 | Be Jealous! |
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