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Subtitles
02:49 | Y'all extra fired up tonight. |
02:56 | And I know why, I know why. Because tonight is epic! |
03:02 | Tonight is monumental. You know what. I feel so good about tonight, I'm gonna do something I should have done a long time ago. |
03:17 | I just hugged out with a 'We hate Cena'-Guy. We're good. Because tonight, for the first time in six months, WWE Monday Night RAW is Nexus-free! |
03:39 | Man, it makes me wanna dance. Whoo, whoo. Whoo, whoo. |
03:48 | Cole, I just dug it. We hit rock bottom. Hell, it makes me wanna sing. |
04:01 | The stars at night are big and bright. ['Clap clap clapclap. Deep in the heart of Texas'] You know what. I am so happy to be here, I got a treat for you guys. Normally we don't do this. |
04:18 | But I've commandeered some exclusive footage from last nights PPV of 'Tables, Ladders & Chairs'. |
04:28 | It is the footage describing the demise of Wade Barrett and I conveniently have that footage cued on the giant screen right now. |
04:52 | But wait folks, there's more. If you continue to watch RAW you will see the same footage from... another camera angle. |
05:10 | That's not all, folks. If you continue to act now and be a member of the WWE Universe you will see the same footage from... |
05:17 | another camera angle. |
05:30 | And just when you thought I was done, we will give you the same footage, but this time in slow-motion. |
06:02 | You guys got to see the demise of Wade Barrett four different times tonight. I feel so good when I get a great bargain. Especially this close to the holidays. On those half-to-half items like the Sham-Wow, the Snuggie and Wade Barrett being crushed by 23 chairs. |
06:23 | Six months ago I promised you guys that I would get to each and every member of The Nexus. And it took me some time, but last night at TLC I got to each and every member of The Nexus. |
06:40 | That means the winds have finally changed for Wade Barrett and his group of turd-burglars and now I can focus on the more important things like winning the Royal Rumble and going on to WrestleMania! |
06:54 | EXCUSE ME! Excuse me! |
07:00 | Moses Malone! |
07:06 | Pardon the interruption, John. I SAID EXCUSE ME! |
07:18 | Pardon the interruption, John, but you were not the only one who won a match last night. |
07:31 | I'm sorry, there's so much hatred in the air, I can't even hear what you're saying. |
07:44 | You were not the only one that won a match last night. ['Buuuuh'] EXCUSE ME['Buuuuh'] |
08:03 | I can't hear you. |
08:12 | You were not the only one� ['Buuuuh'] |
08:22 | Alright, alright, alright. What? |
08:26 | You were not the only one� ['Buuuuh'] |
08:32 | Ha, it's a running gag. |
08:38 | John, you were not the only one� ['Buuuuh'] ['You suck'] |
09:01 | Okay, the state of Texas just told you how they feel. Explain yourself, what's going on? Give her the floor, give her the floor. It's live television. |
09:10 | John, you were not the only one� ['Buuuuh'] |
09:15 | Well, we just made the All-Time-RAW-Highlights. This is gonna go on for what? 30, 40 minutes? Go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. Guys, guys. Please. Don't do that, don't do that again. No, please. Silence. |
09:32 | You were not ['Buuuuh'] the only one that won a match at the TLC PPV. ['You suck'] |
10:02 | They're a lively bunch here in Austin, I tell ya. |
10:12 | Despite competing in a Triple Threat match, ['Buuuuh'] Dolph Ziggler is still the Intercontinental Champion! Now since you had the opportunity ['Buuuuh'] to show footage, I have my own footage to show� |
10:33 | Okay, okay. Alright, alright, alright. We've made some ground. Apparently after TLC last night Dolph Ziggler is still the Intercontinental Champion. And the wonderful and beloved Vickie Guerrero has brought out a clip to show us. Roll the clip. |
10:53 | There are some moves that our Superstars do that are truly beyond words. The only reaction is holy... you know what. |
11:03 | Jerry, that's the same reaction I had when Michael Cole cost you your WWE Championship! |
11:11 | You know, Vickie, that's probably the reaction Dolph Ziggler has every time you model some new lingerie for him. |
11:17 | Excuse me? |
11:19 | Look, Jerry, for your information, I have lost a considerable amount of weight. |
11:23 | You've lost weight? Look around, I think you'll find it. |
11:33 | The King, Ladies and Gentlemen. Well played, Sir. |
11:41 | Jerry, I came for an apology. ['Buuuuh'] And if you don't give me my apology, my boyfriend Dolph Ziggler is going to beat you up! |
11:53 | She's right. I'm gonna beat you up! |
11:54 | And you are going to say that you're sorry. |
11:56 | Hey, King. I got this. She says that you owe her an apology. And if we don't have one here now that Dolph Ziggler is gonna try to beat you up. |
12:04 | He will beat him. |
12:08 | Vickie, Vickie. Was it because the remark about your weight? I mean, I can't help it if you're the only diva here in the WWE whose bathtub has stretch marks. |
12:20 | King, King. Wait, wait. King, King. I got one, I got one. Vickie is so fat that she wakes up in sections. |
12:31 | Hey, John. John, John. Did you know that when God said 'Let there be light', he had to ask Vickie to step out of the way first? |
12:41 | Wait, wait, wait. I got one, I got one. |
12:45 | STOP IT! |
12:45 | Vickie is so fat that her baby pictures were taken via satellite. |
12:50 | STOP IT! STOP IT, STOP IT! STOP IT! ['Buuuuh'] |
13:00 | Vickie Guerrero is a saint! She is beautiful, inside and out. She's the most respected diva in the entire WWE. ['Buuuuh'] You all know that. She's beautiful, she's� |
13:09 | Dolph! Dolph, Dolph. Enough. How can you be out here talking like that? I was talking to you quite a while ago and you called Vickie a double-bagger. That means you gotta put a bag over your head in case the one of hers breaks. And how dare you, how dare you. First time I met you a long time ago, you were afraid of the dark. Then you saw Vickie naked, you're afraid of the light. |
14:00 | And I quote. |
14:09 | Since Vickie Guerrero is threatening that her boyfriend Dolph Ziggler will beat people up, well let's try it in a match tonight. |
14:21 | Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero vs John Cena and Sadie. |
14:29 | And that match will take place right now. |
GLOSSARY
bright: brillante; demise: muerte; bargain: negocio; crushed: aplstado; burglars: ladrones; hatred: odio; running gag: joke; lively: animado; bunch: grupo; lingerie: ropa interior; remark: observacion; bathtub: bañera; stretch marks: estrias;
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