Russell Brand on Jimmy Kimmel (4/4/2013):Aprende ingles gratis con videos

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00:00	Our first guest tonight is a ball of british energy who has survived a long list of hardships including the burden of having to make love to three quarters of the women in the civilised world.
00:10	You can see him as the host of Grandads with Russell Brand, Thursday nights at 11pm on FX, please say hello to Russell Brand.
00:37	How are you?
00:43	I feel very happy, thanks, jimmy.
00:45	I want to ask you something. I just something occurred to me.
00:49	I look at you and I wonder, does it take you a long -- do you get ... does it take you a long time to get ready?
00:55	Or do you just roll out of bed? Because it could be either way.
00:58	It would be two hours. It could be five minutes. I really don't know.
01:02	Do you mean in this particular instance right now?
01:04	In general, In general.
01:07	Well like for example, on an average day?
01:09	Yeah.
01:09	Because you can never have an average day Jimmy.
01:11	That was a trick question.
01:13	If a day is going average, do something weird eat some helium, release a dragon.
01:19	because I tell you your hair is very messy but you smell great.
01:22	You smell really clean.
01:23	I would like to emphasize this point if I may say - Go ahead.
01:26	On your television program - please do.
01:28	I'm very clean! - You are clean.
01:31	People think, like, for some reason I possibly threw some of my nocturnal habits, so I may be unhygienic.
01:40	I'm not. I'm very well groomed. Immaculately clean. And as Jimmy just verified, I smell nice.
01:46	You smell really ... you smell extranice I get the smell the cleaning is coming ... I feel ... I feel cleaner now sitting next to you.
01:53	Yes. I exude pheromones and spores that are even now going into your glands.
01:59	Something will fire out of your urethra in a moment.
02:04	Maybe an endorsement deal.
02:09	Did you celebrate easter?
02:11	Actually, yes. As a matter of fact, I did. Because I like things like that.
02:14	Easter, celebrations, times where everyone, collective consciousness is accrued.
02:19	And I really like -- some people don't know but I think that Jesus is really brilliant.
02:24	All those things he done. The miracles. That was kind.
02:29	The sacrifice of his own life that we may be free from sin. I think that was a really, really nice thing to do.
02:35	Also, I like that he was very anti-establishment figure.
02:41	Smashed stuff up sometimes.
02:43	There's a story about him going in a church and smashing stuff up.
02:46	Yet when I do it -- no, I would never do that, of course.
02:51	But like, yeah, so on easter, right?
02:54	One of your mates said to ne what did you do over easter?
02:57	I said really actually very religious.
02:59	I literally was reading the bible, watching documentaries about Jesus and learning about him and looking after my God children.
03:07	So that's about as spiritual a day as you can have, isn't it?
03:10	How old are your god children?
03:11	I've got these god children that have been alive for two years and four months.
03:15	They're twins.
03:16	And you're watching tv while you're supposed to be watching them?
03:21	All right, I wasn't solely supervising them - oh I see OK.
03:25	There was an adult there as well - Okay, all right. Because like ah ...
03:30	Oh, yeah, I'm an adult, right?
03:31	Because like child twins have no faith.
03:35	They have no respect for rules, convention.
03:37	They eat glitter. That's weird.
03:39	I mean We all know it's gorgeous, but don't put it into your body.
03:44	But how do you know? It could make great things come out.
03:48	Right. Great things like Rainbow urine.
03:52	When you get your kids back. They might have multicolored urine. Don't report me to social services.
03:57	If anything sparkles in their diaper, it wasn't me.
04:02	If you can make the urine of an adult sparkle, you're a sex wizard. You do it to a kid, you're going to jail.
04:09	And that should be a bumper sticker. That's an excellent tip.

GLOSSARY

hardships - burden - host - roll out - messy - groomed - well groomed - endorsement - deal - easter - accrued - Smashed stuff up - glitter - sparkles - diaper

hardships: privacion extrema; burden: cargar; host: anfitrion; roll out: salir; messy: desordenado; groomed: ; well groomed: apariencia limpia; endorsement: aprobacion; deal: contrato; easter: Pascua; accrued: acumulado; Smashed stuff up: cosas destrozadas; glitter: escarcha; sparkles: brilla; diaper: pañal;